


Measures Taken

by Lorem_Yipsum



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Seungcheol is bi and in denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-18 17:11:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorem_Yipsum/pseuds/Lorem_Yipsum
Summary: Seungcheol, Mingyu, Wonwoo, Seokmin and Joshua have an awkward, drunken dick measuring contest. It mutates into a jerk off session.





	Measures Taken

**Author's Note:**

> Reference: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/293297374_Erect_penile_size_of_Korean_men  
> (Yes, this porn fic has a science paper reference.)

# Measures Taken

 

Hair still a little damp, Seungcheol entered his deserted bedroom, knowing the other boys were getting wasted a safe distance downstairs from him. He’d join them once he was wearing more than a towel.

 

Absentmindedly trailing the slight suggestion of abs on his beefy torso with one hand, he sorted through shirts with the other.

 

There was only a tiny dent in the towel at the moment – easy to miss in the light – but the coarse fabric putting pressure on his pride was a self-aggravating process. Action and reaction.

 

Seungcheol loved his members dearly but there were advantages to a less crammed dorm arrangement. More time in the shower for one thing, which was one of the little dorm life tidbits he’d have willingly dispersed in interviews. Unlike a certain… other advantage.

 

See, when you live with 12 boys, practically toe to toe, and each one could barge into your room at any time… It’s tough to flog the dog. To yank the crank. To lay around just jerkin’ the gherkin.

 

Back when they had slept the way teen boys do – wherever they dropped, sometimes over each other – Seungcheol had occasionally gone a full week without masturbation. It had been impossible to get a second alone. His hormones had been coming out of his ears like teakettle steam.

 

Years’ worth of a repressed teenager’s cumshots still buzzed in his matured, dance-hardened body. He had the luxury of a minute’s time.

 

Resting on the dark fabric of his flawlessly made bed, Seungcheol slipped one hand along his treasure trail, scratched his fingers past his pubes and added pressure from his palm. The quarter hard-on evolved into a semi.

 

With lips open and the bed covers loosely gripped, Seungcheol escaped to one of his go-to fantasies.

 

_…all the way through the fanmeet, he had been slipping notes into the hottest girl’s hands. The ones who said they were only there for him. And maybe, a few of the ones only there for Jeonghan. They’d read the notes and be consumed with fear, hope and lust. “Hey Sexy,” the notes would say, “Meet me later behind the stage. If you’re willing to share, you can have a piece of me.”_

 

_It was his fantasy, so of course there was a full turnout. They all showed up for him. The confident and the shy ones. The long and the short haired. The ones with no meat on their bones and the ones with a lot. The ones with glasses, the ones from overseas and the ones hiding their faces in insecurity._

 

_They all wanted him._

 

The towel fell apart at the loose knot. Free Willy could at long last sprout to full rigidity.

 

Seungcheol let go of the bed, slipped the towel off his hips and brought his hand up to his left nipple. His hard dick became _Hard_ , with each heartbeat pulsing a slight stretching sensation into his groin.

 

_He would slip out of his shirt, in the dim lights of the backstage. The girls would be paralyzed with awe. All of them begging - with their gazes more than with their voices. Their eyes darting over him in hunger._

 

_“It’s fine,” he would tell them. “You can see everything if want. But I’ll need help.”_

 

_He would slightly flex his muscles, making the most of his true-man-body. Eventually one would approach. It was always the prettiest one, obviously. She would sink to her knees, and he would give her an encouraging smile._

 

His hands both reached to his nipples to flick them like tongues might. It was worth letting go of his dick for a second. His fantasy jumped ahead to keep up.

 

_Two girls were kissing his chest. His pants were down. Lips were about to close around his leaking pipe._

 

Seungcheol grabbed his dick with one hand and pulled on his balls with the other. He was ready to get it over with. The sound of his tightened fist slamming into his crotch was underlined by his stifled, sporadic breathing.

 

_She was naked now, ready to sink down on his-_

 

*WHAM*

 

“Hey, hyung! Oops...”

 

Mingyu had a tendency to do things loudly. When he entered a room he was a tempest. Bursting in like a troupe of firefighters he filled the space with Mingyuness, waving a half empty soju bottle.

 

“You should… join us,” Mingyu said with an undeservedly confused expression. “When you’re done.”

 

Seungcheol had no qualms being naked in front of his members. They were bros after all. But hard? A different story.

 

Trying to sit up put his full weight on the towel, making it impossible to pull out. Seungcheol was left fruitlessly pulling with one hand while trying to cover himself with the other.

 

“What’s going on?” asked a deep drawl, with the slight slurring of a tipsy Wonu.

 

Standing in the doorframe, the slender rapper in dark clothes had half a six-pack of beer dangling off his wrist.

 

“Close the door!” Seungcheol hissed through his teeth.

 

“Okay,” Wonu said, stepped inside and kicked the door shut.

 

“F-from the _other_ side,” Seungcheol, a hint of despair creeping in. Sure, this was Wonu’s room, too, but there was such a thing as tact.

 

Mingyu stepped closer, flashing the gentle smiled he had when he was drunk enough to start feeling it. “Don’t get mad, hyung. I’ve seen you in your birthday suit a million times. You’re acting like you were giving the S.Cock a spanking.”

 

“Don’t call my… don’t call it that. And…”

 

Seungcheol wanted to jump up and put on pants but Mingyu was in the way and the S.Co- the object definitely _not_ named S.Cock wasn’t softening up fast enough.

 

“Wait… you were jerking off.” Wonu said, or possibly _asked_ , with a critical lack of voice modulation.

 

“Out!”

 

Mingyu shrugged and took a deep swing of soju. “Come on. Join us. DK was crying over baby pics of Jeonghan and Vernon challenged Jun to a rap battle and is to shitfaced to realize Jun’s just stating Pepper Pig facts in Chinese. And when-“

 

“Leave,” Seungcheol said, at last tearing the towel out from under his butt and starting to tie it around his hip.

 

“It’s not like you were already in the middle of it,” Mingyu said.

 

“I was! I mean, that’s none of your business.”

 

“You weren’t hard though. Or is the S.Cock, like, tiny?”

 

Seungcheol struggled for words. “Y-you’re wasted, Kim Mingyu. It’s the perspective from above and… everything looks smaller in tunnel vision you drunkard.”

 

“No seriously, how big was…” Mingyu looked at the expressionless Wonu, squinting. “Coups hyung wasn’t there when we measured right? Back during pre-debut, when we compared dicks, Coups just went to the showers.”

 

“You did _what_?” Seungcheol asked.

 

Wonu dropped his three remaining beers on the dresser. “Pretty sure I’ve grown since then.”

 

“Let’s check,” Mingyu said and pulled his pants down his stupidly long, buff, tan legs.

 

“Wait…” Seungcheol said. “You’re not seriously… I’m not getting an erection in front of my dongsaengs.”

 

Mingyu grinned much broader than his drunk-smile usually was. “If you just admit defeat, we can skip this. I figured you wouldn’t _dare_.”

 

Admit defeat? To Kim Mingyu?

 

“It’s on,” Seungcheol said, rose and cast the towel to the floor like a duelling glove.

 

Wonu was struggling out of his shirt, too lazy to take his huge glasses off for the process and getting it stuck on them.

 

The leader knew he’d need some courage for what was to transpire so he grabbed one of the beers, opened it with a practiced motion and downed the content – a bit warmer than he preferred it – like a pro.

 

Three men, no clothes.

 

Seeing the fabled “Meanie couple” naked gave Seungcheol an idea why people thought they went so well together. Both were tall and handsome, yes, but that’s where the similarities ended. Mingyu’s body was muscled and radiated virility, even danger. He was masculine in a different way than Seungcheol – an elegant way that was almost worth being jealous of. Wonu, however, was pale and slender with gentle grace and perhaps a little stiff. There was a frailty about him beyond the skin-and-bones frame.

 

“Hey Gyu,” Wonu said without inflection. “Since when do you trim your pubes?”

 

Mingyu shrugged, wiggling the soju bottle. “Thought I’d give it a try.”

 

Displaying not one bit of shame, the Meanie couple boys jerked themselves erect. Seungcheol looked down on himself, sighed, and wished the beer could kick in without delay.

 

Just as he started slowly rubbing his dick, he noticed the other two staring at him. Well, at his package.

 

Mingyu finally put the bottle on the ground, so he could bring one hand up to his nipples. “Ever thought about cutting back the jungle in the S.Crotch?”

 

Seungcheol turned on the spot, facing away from his roommate and the tallest. “Rule one: no staring at another man’s… thing. And no comments.”

 

He heard the two perverted intruders step closer to him and to each other. He didn’t look behind him but apparently they wanted to stand in a back to back circle. Well as long as they didn’t bump into each other…

 

Seungcheol’s gaze fell onto the window. The reflection showed…

 

“What the fuck?” Seungcheol half turned around but not really, unwilling to expose his eyes to the view. “You two are mutually masturbating?!”

 

Mingyu – who definitely had his hand on another man’s penis – said, “We’ve been doing that since trainee days.”

 

“Stress relieve,” came Wonu’s monotonous addition.

 

The leader fully turned toward his members, only semi hard but embarrassingly horny. He tried to look shocked but the other two wankers met his gaze unflinchingly.

 

“Rule two,” Seungcheol said and turned back around. “Absolutely no eye contact.”

 

“You should try it, Coups hyung,” Mingyu said.

 

“Try what?” Seungcheol asked. “Touching your dick? How is that okay?”

 

Mingyu’s grin was audible in his voice. “I want you to firmly grasp it.”

 

“Okay, rule three,” Seungcheol almost yelled. “No SpongeBob references while we’re doing this.”

 

He closed his eyes and tried to conjure a fantasy. His mind was to scattered to stick to one, so he circled through his usual ideas:

 

Being the first kpop idol to become a porn star at the same time; Making out with Jihoon at a fanmeet and watching the noonas jerk themselves off right in their seats (that wasn’t gay because it was about fan reactions); having a different carat come over every morning to wake him with a blow job; Making out with Jeonghan in front of fangirls and watch them cream their pants (that wasn’t gay because Jeonghan transcended gender); Having the Pledis girls worship his muscles; Making out with Joshua in front of-

 

“I’m hard,” Wonu said. “How do we measure? Hyung, do we have a ruler in the desk drawers?”

 

“I… don’t think so.”

 

“Be right back.”

 

Seungcheol turned just in time to witness Jeon-no-fucks-given-Wonu leave the room, buck naked and rock hard. Wonu’s dick was skinned back and the tip glistened. If any of the others saw this… what would they say?

 

At least the departing roommate closed the door behind him.

 

From the corner of his vision, Seungcheol could tell Mingyu was not quite clear on the no-eye-contact rule. Glancing over, Seungcheol got stuck on the other’s face which was after all well known as the definition of handsomeness. The two men held each other’s stare, jerking just fast enough to stay hard for the third one’s return.

 

Assaulted by an unbearable level of horniness, Seungcheol couldn’t help but marvel at how friendly and gentle Mingyu still looked when tipsy. Liking Kim Mingyu’s face was not gay, of course. The tan tree person was going to win the Sexiest Puppy-Human-Hybrid Award every year, as soon as such an honor ceremony was instituted. Mingyu was an _exception_ , you see.  _Everyone_ liked looking at Mingyu.

 

Wonu returned, with a ruler in one hand and Seokmin in the other.

 

Poor Seokmin looked like he was about to crash. Eyes droopy and posture slouching, the vocalist was probably suffering from excessive drinking – which meant about half a glass of wine, in his case.

 

“W-what is _he_ doing here?” Seungcheol asked.

 

“Are we having a circle session?” Seokmin slurred. “Please, I have so much pressure. Jeonghannie hasn’t let me ride his thighs for _days_! He can be so cruel.”

 

Seventeen million questions formed in Seungcheol’s head at once. All that left his mouth was barely audible sputtering.

 

While Seokmin stripped, dangerously uncoordinated, Wonu closed the door behind them.

 

It was held open by someone in the corridor.

 

Joshua glanced in. Jihoon was behind him, leaning past and stretching his neck.

 

“Hey, are you having your own party in here?” asked the American. “Junk food supplies downstairs are dwindling rapidly. We have McFallen on hard times.”

 

“O-out?!” Seungcheol commanded, weakly.

 

“It’s just a dick measuring contest,” Wonu said, as if talking about the weather.

 

“Oh cool,” Joshua said and entered. “We haven’t done that since trainee days.”

 

Jihoon grabbed the handle from the outside, said, “Count me out,” and left them alone.

 

“I think,” Joshua explained, “he knows he’d loose. I mean, he hasn’t grown at all since then. So why would he go through this again?”

 

The latest additional pervert walked past all present company and sat on the bed – on _Seungcheol’s_ bed – naked and jerking his still soft dick. Wonu’s bed remained unsullied.

 

The leader dropped himself onto his bed and spread his impressive thighs in a dumb gesture of dominance. To his surprise, Joshua didn’t flinch back at the leg-on-leg touch. Unwilling to back down, Seungcheol was left with their thighs rubbing together. He had no problem touching his members, but doing so while masturbating?

 

Mingyu was back milking Wonu’s dick and vice versa, but looked at Joshua’s crotch.

 

“Well what do you know?” the tallest member said. “Our American hyung is shaved down there. How western.”

 

Seungcheol cleared his throat. “Let’s just get this over with.”

 

Wonu brought the ruler down on himself. Mingyu looked at it as if inspecting an interesting but ultimately banal object. Meanwhile Seungcheol was still torn between following his own rules and making sure Wonu wasn’t cheating.

 

Silence filled the room, aside from Seokmin’s muffled struggles. Too tipsy to stand on one leg, he had to rest his nude body on Seungcheol’s and Wonu’s wardrobe to pull his right sock off. Leaving smudges with his lightly sweaty skin, the tall singer whispered “Seok-off-min” to himself and giggled.

 

The low tone rapper shattered the quiet to disperse the facts. “Twelve centimeter, seven millimeter.”

 

“So, twelve and a half,” Mingyu said.

 

“Twelve point seven,” Wonu insisted, managing to sound threatening without a change in intonation. He handed over the ruler to the only person taller than him.

 

Mingyu measured. He seemed to know the result beforehand, not bothering to read it off the plastic strip. “Fourteen. Exactly fourteen.”

 

“What?” Seokmin said and pulled his last sock away. “Impossible. You’re not allowed to press it in.”

 

“I’m not. I’m really that size. It just doesn’t look like it because I’m a big guy.”

 

Seokmin bent closer to the gently bobbing hard-on, squinting. “He’s right, I guess.”

 

Mingyu took a step forward and aligned his dick with Wonu’s, who didn’t even flinch. Skin on skin, the ‘big guy’ was now masturbating both their dicks.

 

“See how much longer mine is?” Mingyu asked.

 

“It’s not _that_ much,” Wonu said.

 

Seungcheol felt intense emotions – he couldn’t put it any more clearly. Meanie couple making contact was tough to process. He fought himself to a stand and said, “I want your tool. I mean rod, um… stick… the _ruler_! I want the ruler. And stop making eye contact with me or each other or anyone.”

 

He snatched the offered stationery and rubbed it vigorously on his bed cover to get all the Meanie cooties off.

 

Joshua in the meantime had leaned back and nursed a mostly empty bottle of wine he must brought with him, lazily jerking off and even looking a bit bored.

 

Seokmin now dropped into Seungcheol’s own desk chair, spreading a pair of thighs impressive enough to rival the leader’s. The singer’s clothes were distributed on the floor like a bread crumb trail, leading to his naked, bedroom-eyed self now focused on his own pleasure.

 

It was time for the group’s father to make his stats known.

 

With some annoyance – why couldn’t Seokmin sit his big, bare ass in Wonu’s chair instead? – Seungcheol took a firm stance on both feet and brought the ruler down. He flinched at the contact and his dick pulsed as if answering him.

 

Every ounce of his characteristic, competitive spirit drained right out of him. Was he reading that right? Had the others cheated? Should he just call the whole contest off?

 

Joshua, the traitorous trickster, leaned over and read, “Twelve point three! My turn!”

 

Frozen in shock, Seungcheol let the ruler pass into the American’s hands without resistance. He looked at his dick, wishing he could scold the little guy for disappointing him. “I’m… below average?”

 

“Aww,” Mingyu made, mockingly.

 

“Aww,” Seokmin made, deeply sincere.

 

“You can grab mine,” Mingyu continued, “if you want to know what being a man feels like.”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Seokmin continued, making direct eye contact while masturbating furiously. “You have more important qualities. Size isn’t everything.”

 

“You know what?” Seungcheol said, and dropped back on the covers. “You’re right. I’m no less of a man because of my size. Nothing depends on this. Being the smallest here is one of many facets of me we share in this family. I will carry this knowledge with pride and-”

 

“Twelve?” Joshua said.

 

“Ha!” Seungcheol shouted. “Fuck you! I’m bigger. You complete loser. I’m a giant to you. Hahaha.”

 

Wonu said, “You weren’t standing, though.”

 

Joshua got up and measured again. “Twelve point… three. Well, looks like I’m on par with the S.Chode.”

 

“ _Don’t call it the_ …” Seungcheol began but ended the sentence with a facepalm. “You’re all horrible people.”

 

When he looked up, Joshua was passing the ruler to Seokmin. Meanie were still giving handjobs to each other.

 

“You’re done,” Seungcheol said. “Why aren’t you stopping?”

 

Frankly, he was desperately horny and wanted them out of his room so he could unload in peace.

 

Wonu shrugged his bony shoulders and Mingyu his beefy ones. “Gotta finish the job,” said the taller of the ‘tols’.

 

“Thirteen point one!” Seokmin said and fell back into the chair with a smack.

 

“Thirteen?” the leader asked, voice cracking.

 

“Point one,” Seokmin slurred with a smile.

 

Mingyu threw his arms into the air, nearly brushing the ceiling. “Woooo, I win! Again.”

 

“He’ll be smug about this all week,” Joshua said with an eyeroll. “So what kinda race is it? Speed or stamina?”

 

Seungcheol made “Huh?”

 

Joshua turned to him. “Do I win the circle jerk – well, the pentagram jerk – if I finish first or last?”

 

“I just want it over with.”

 

Wonu hummed. “I like going slow and steady. Let’s see how long we can draw this out.”

 

Seungcheol was ready to explode from impatience, but also in the more orgasmic way considering he had been edging for way longer than he had intended to.

 

“Oh come on,” the leader said.

 

“You?” Wonu said.

 

“What?”

 

“Come on?”

 

“…Yeah?” Seungcheol said with long rising intonation.

 

“You?”

 

“ _What_?!”

 

“Come on you?”

 

Seungcheol’s head spun with hormones, disappointment and general incredulity. “Y-you want to c-come on me?”

 

“Didn’t you just ask me too?”

 

“No.”

 

“Kay.”

 

Meanwhile, Seokmin’s fapping noises rose to unsustainable levels. The young man wasn’t so much jerking his dick as punishing it for unknown crimes. With a grimace to terrify even fully grown children, the singer let out a whispered high note – nearly ultrasonic but perfectly stable.

 

It was less of a cumshot and more of a faucet. He had not been kidding about ‘pressure’. Arcs of goo whipped across his body, their peaks reaching his twisted face. To the room owner’s dismay, there were more than a few droplets on errant paths to his desk. Could cum short-circuit a gaming keyboard?

 

Seungcheol leaned back onto his pillow and pulled his legs in to leave Joshua some space. He grabbed his package again and went to work getting off, so he could kick the intruders out.

 

Seokmin rose, wobbled two steps and cuddled up next to him.

 

Now, you see, it was perfectly normal for the leader to cuddle his members, even with little to no clothing, but Seungcheol saw one issue: “Y-you’re full of cum!”

 

Seokmin vaguely reached for a faraway tissue box on the dresser. Mingyu threw it toward him. Seokmin caught it with his face. Before he even started wiping, cumstrings had already left their mark on Seungcheol’s bed.

 

Next to him, Joshua’s breathing was speeding up, accompanied by a gentle, wavering “Nyah” each time – getting louder. Every so often, the young man whispered a “Fuck”.

 

Mingyu spasmed in Wonu’s hand, yelping with the same high pitch as when he laughed or sighed. His voice was just as all over the place as his trembling muscles. He was such a loud orgamser, it made Seungcheol wonder how he had never heard the tall boy cum before. Walls could be no obstacle to those power vocals.

 

Spraying like rain bouncing off a fan at max setting, Mingyu unloaded mostly onto Wonu but didn’t spare the floor either.

 

Wonu kept milking the king sized tool in his palm until Mingyu stepped back and diligently cleaned the offered forearm with his tongue and gentle kisses.

 

Seokmin threw the tissue box and Mingyu dropped one paper tissue to wipe the floor with his foot, using another one to clean the rest of Wonu, who had to masturbate himself in the meantime.

 

Joshua’s “Nyah” had reached critical level and sounded more like a grunting pressure cooker. His whole body contracted as his shot splashed off into orbit. The goo smacked into Seungcheol’s wall and remained as a stain, unwilling to run down. A thin, glistening string was left along Joshua’s body, leading across his tight, lean torso into his hair.

 

Mingyu took a seat on Wonu’s previously unused bed, looking satisfied but still at attention.

 

Seungcheol was feeling the cliff approach.

 

While the American sat up and wiped his load off the wall before it left a spot, Seungcheol found his toes curling. His abs contracted and so did his thighs, all responding to his beefy buttocks hardening with anticipation as his crotch turned into a maelstrom of energy.

 

Seokmin grinned and flicked his leader’s nipple. Joshua dropped down alongside Seungcheol and played with the other nipple, making more of the thick man’s body and mind involved with the drive toward tension. His upper and lower body battled for erotic focus, sending waves of combatants up and down his spine.

 

Where those noises weird? Was he too loud?

 

A small part of Seungcheol found it in him to feel embarrassed at how much he exposed himself.

 

Wonu mumbled, “Ready to nut,” and Mingyu slipped off the bed. The tall man dropped to his knees, mouth open. Wonu pushed him back, whispering “Not this time.”

 

Seungcheol missed what happened next. He was preoccupied with his blinding orgasm.

 

An animalistic grunt broke off as the cumshots kept happening. Deep breaths demanded to be drawn, making Seungcheol gasp through the shivers.

 

Relaxation took over his body.

 

He opened his eyes to a web of white strings up to his pecs. He usually avoided getting any cum on himself, but he hadn’t had the power to ask for his tissues back and he sure hadn’t wanted to turn to either side.

 

Wonu had displayed no hesitation, however, and had painted Mingyu – who looked quite unhappy about the amount of jizz in his hair.

 

“What do I win?” Seokmin asked. “I was first.”

 

Wonu grabbed the last beer and dropped it into Seokmin’s crotch. “Here you go. That’s a week’s ration for you.”

 

Seungcheol looked around the room. This time he didn’t avoid eyes – he sought them out. Joshua’s pretty face, flushed red with excitement. Mingyu, who struggled to clean his precious hair. The usually expressionless Wonu, now carrying a gentle smile and a more serene aura. Seokmin and his big dumb grin. He wished he could have seen himself right there.

 

Meanie were on one bed, the others still side by side on the leader’s.

 

As he drifted off into a cuddle nap, Seungcheol couldn’t help but wonder what the other members were like when they came. He’d have to find out. And take some measures. Someone _had_ to be smaller than him.

**Author's Note:**

> Why did I write this? My brain told me to.
> 
> Why did I choose these particular members? These are the ones I find the hottest. I wanted more in, like Jihoon, but the scene was getting too crowded.
> 
> Why did you give them these exact sizes? I had trouble with that, but I tried going with what made the most interesting plot for the characterizations I had in mind. Feel free to disagree on the numbers, I have no stakes in the matter. (BigDick!Mingyu is inarguable, though.)


End file.
